I’ve spent so much time hating you for the things you did and said to me the last time we spoke. It’s awful, I know. We both said some things that we regret. But you were the one person I thought I would have in my life forever, and then you were gone. I want you to know I’ve let go of most of that anger. Sometimes I almost want to pick up the phone and just tell you this, but what would be the point? Our relationship is ruined, I know you probably wouldn’t thank me for the phone call. And that’s okay.
People move on, it’s true when they say some friends aren’t put in our lives to stay. I hope you think about the fun times we had together sometimes. Remember when we would lie awake at night for hours and just talk? How we could finish each other’s sentences? Do you remember that time you made me piss my pants because I laughed so hard? What about the times that I stood up for you? Protected you as if you were my kid or something. It’s funny now, thinking of how close we were back then, we’re like strangers now.
I still have the book that everybody signed when we left senior school, you know. And the shirt. You signed the shirt with ‘But I’ll see you, OBVIOUSLY’, because you truly thought you would. Every now and then, when I come across the book when I’m cleaning, or find it shoved to the back of a drawer, I flip it open and think about all the happy times we all had, you were present for all of it. You wrote about how we’d always be best friends, no matter what – and your kids would be calling me Auntie, I wasn’t getting away that easily! And look at us now.
Sometimes I wonder if you kept all of my secrets, I kept yours. I wonder if your family ask about me, and what you tell them. Good things, I hope.
As sad as it is that I can’t send you a text message, or check up on you, or rant to you about my day like I used to, I value the good times we had together. I hope you reach the goals you set yourself, and I hope you’re happy with your life. I hope you look back on our friendship and laugh, I hope it brings you some joy. Most of all, I hope it taught you a lesson, as it did me.
Your Ex Best Friend.